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‘We’re Asians, Gay \u0026 Proud’: The Story Behind The Photo - NBC Asian America

This is clearly not a serious punishment. I think the girls' yelling in reaction to it, and holding their bottoms afterwards, is meant as a joke.

Certainly there is laughter, including from the teacher at one point. A short sequence within the item shows a large number of schoolgirls being punished outside their school.

The girls are lined up in a row and have been made to adopt a "push-up" position while a man goes along the line, whacking each girl on her bottom several times with a stick.

According to one source, 40 high-school girls were thus punished altogether, for not taking part in Teacher's Day. We know from other pictures that this "push-up" posture was the norm in Korean schools, both as a punishment in its own right holding the position for a length of time and as a stance for the receipt of posterial chastisement.

The implement being used is much too thick and heavy and rigid to be described as a cane in the British sense. It also appears not to be in conformity with the Education Ministry's rules for CP as set forth in this June news item.

I would describe what we see here as almost "clubbing" rather than caning. The stick appears to be wielded with some force and without very much care; indeed, in Western cultural terms this treatment might be thought to be verging on the brutal.

For that matter, nor would it be regarded as acceptable -- and especially not for girls -- in some other Asian countries, such as Malaysia or Singapore, where the moderate, properly regulated, formal, non-violent caning of schoolboys is routine and officially supported.

However, the evidence is that in Korean culture this sort of thing was, at the time, fairly normal and regarded by many as a reasonable or even necessary way of dealing with misbehaving youngsters of both sexes.

In fact it may be that in Korean terms this is fairly mild stuff, because there are also reports and there is at least one unpleasant video clip on YouTube of students being violently punched and thumped on the spur of the moment by angry teachers -- which of course is not corporal punishment at all, but mere indefensible brutality.

This news item from SBS TV in March reports on severe caning in a girls' boarding school in Busan, with a group of teenagers partly lifting up their skirts to show the results.

The punishment appears by Western standards to have been way over the top. There are background scenes of the school including the dormitory, and a brief shot of a student's bruised buttocks receiving medical treatment.

The reporter claims that some of the girls were bleeding. The punishment also included being made to run across the playground 50 times.

Other more generalised mistreatment was also alleged at this school. As the clip ends, the TV reporter is seen in a contretemps with an official of the school.

In this second video clip from , a female student gets mildly caned in the corridor for being late to school. The atmosphere is jocular.

This second video clip from has no sound, so we cannot gauge the atmosphere. It shows a couple of boys and then several girls putting their hands on the desk to receive two strokes of the cane on the seat from their lady teacher.

At the end of the clip, one of the caned girls is jumping around in pain and vigorously rubbing her buttocks. From comes this second film in which four high-school girls come forward to the front of the class to be punished by a shouty male teacher.

Each receives two not-very-severe strokes across the seat of the uniform skirt with a narrow paddle or large ruler. This article has been viewed 1,, times.

Learn more Meeting potential partners is a challenging and anxiety-inducing task. For lesbians, it can often be more difficult to find a partner due to uncertainty about the other person's sexuality.

Fortunately, in modern society there are many ways to meet other lesbians. Even in areas where it is dangerous to be openly lesbian, online dating services and advice can help you find love.

Every day at wikiHow, we work hard to give you access to instructions and information that will help you live a better life, whether it's keeping you safer, healthier, or improving your well-being.

Amid the current public health and economic crises, when the world is shifting dramatically and we are all learning and adapting to changes in daily life, people need wikiHow more than ever.

Your support helps wikiHow to create more in-depth illustrated articles and videos and to share our trusted brand of instructional content with millions of people all over the world.

Please consider making a contribution to wikiHow today. To get a lesbian girlfriend, try going to LGBT social events or venues in your area, like nightclubs, parades, or hangouts, which are great ways to meet other lesbians.

Alternatively, search for girls through online dating websites, like Match. When you first meet a girl you like, make eye contact with her and smile.

If she smiles back, seize the opportunity to introduce yourself. While you're talking, flirt with her a bit by complimenting her and lightly touching or brushing against her while you talk.

If she flirts back with you, ask for her number or arrange to meet up for a date. For more tips, including how to be confident around a girl you like, read on!

Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

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Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Co-authored by contributors Community of editors, researchers, and specialists June 4, Approved.

Part 1 of Attend LGBT events. From pride parades to bar nights to casual social meetups, these events remove the pressure and uncertainty of trying to find other lesbians in straight spaces.

Look for them on meetup. If you're in the United States, find nearby community centers in the lgbtcenter. If you're not out to everyone in your life, consider going to events in a nearby town, where people are less likely to run into you.

Spend more time on your favorite social activities. Much as we'd all like to meet someone without having to leave the house, your potential partners won't cooperate with that plan.

Many a lesbian couple first met on a women's sports team or volunteering at an animal shelter , but you don't need to limit yourself to these stereotypes.

Throw yourself into a social activity or hobby you love, and your enthusiasm will attract people who share your interests. Concerts are another great meeting spot.

Look for bands with LGBT musicians or a significant lesbian fan base. Visit a lesbian bar. These aren't too common anymore, so jump on the chance if there's still one in your town.

Failing that, gay bars are worth a try. Most of them are heavily weighted toward men, but you might find some with a regular lesbian night.

Don't send the wrong signal by bringing your straight male friend to a gay or lesbian bar. Date online. Websites and dating apps are extremely popular ways to meet.

Here are some of the more popular options: OkCupid, Match. If you're not out, use OKCupid's ability to hide your profile from straight people. Most mainstream dating apps tend to pair lesbians with men, unbelievable as that is.

Anecdotally, Hinge might be an exception. Make friends in the community. If you volunteered for one pride event and already met the woman of your dreams, congratulations — you're luckier than most.

For everyone else, take the long term view and form lasting friendships in your local lesbian and bisexual community.

The dating pool is not the largest, and you'll probably see many of the same faces at different events.

If you can laugh off a bad first date and sympathize with fellow searchers, you'll make more contacts and be ready for more opportunities. More importantly, you'll become part of a supportive community.

Part 2 of Build confidence. It's normal to be shy when you approach someone you find attractive. Do your best to stay positive and friendly no matter what happens, and you'll gain confidence with practice.

An easygoing attitude makes you more attractive, and makes you feel better as well. A supportive female wingman can help if you need the encouragement.

Just don't act too friendly, or the girl across the room might think you're a couple. The "is she straight?

Making your moves in LGBT spaces can reduce your anxiety, especially when you're new to the experience. Make eye contact and smile. If you don't have a ready-made icebreaker, such as a mutual friend to introduce you, this should be your first step.

If she holds eye contact for a couple seconds, smiles back, or repeatedly glances in your direction, take it as an invitation to approach. Flirting can be as simple as these three steps: Turn your whole body to face her, smile, and hold eye contact while she speaks.

Drop an occasional small compliment her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool. If she's responding well, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear.

Ask her out. Don't be afraid to strike while the iron is hot. If she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested.

And frankly, if it turns out she's straight, you'd rather find out sooner than later. If you get her number, call her again after a day or two and arrange your first date.

Part 3 of Be yourself. The idea of dating someone is to find out if the two of you are right for each other. Pretending to be something you're not hinders this process and will likely lead to problems later on.

If this is your first time dating a woman, or if you're unsure of your sexuality, say so. If you're in the closet with your family, coworkers, or friends, talk about that once it's clear this relationship could go somewhere.

Not everyone is willing to be your experiment, or to be introduced as "just a friend" to your parents. Rough as it is to close the door on a relationship, it will only get more painful if you delay the conversation.

Equally, if you've been out for years and your date is more private about her identity, talk to her about it. Learn each other's comfort zones early on.

Get to know each other. Talk about your interests, and ask about hers. The first few dates are about forming a connection.

Ask her follow-up questions "How often do you go there? If she seems reluctant to talk, switch to a light-hearted topic to make her comfortable.

Avoid getting too personal. Save that for later, when a more lasting commitment is on the table. Never talk about your past relationships on a date.

It can be hard to avoid mentioning a name if you've been dating a while in a close-knit lesbian community, but that doesn't mean your date needs to hear about your sex life or emotional bond with another person.

Talk about your expectations. Honest communication is the most important part of any relationship. This is even more vital if one or both of you are fairly new to same-sex dating or dating in general , and may have unclear expectations for social situations.

Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles. Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians.

If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt. Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new.

Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship.

There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend?

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She remains standing up for this, rather than being made to adopt the push-up posture which is more usual in Korean school caning.

There is nothing jocular about this episode, although the strokes are not especially hard. The girl holds her bottom at the end of the punishment.

In this improved version of the clip, the aspect ratio has been fixed so that the student and teacher now appear the correct shape during the caning.

In a class of younger students, two girls are lightly caned, apparently as they pack up to leave at the end of the lesson.

Each comes up to stand facing the blackboard, and the schoolmistress administers five rapid taps with the cane on their school uniform skirts.

This is clearly not a serious punishment. I think the girls' yelling in reaction to it, and holding their bottoms afterwards, is meant as a joke.

Certainly there is laughter, including from the teacher at one point. A short sequence within the item shows a large number of schoolgirls being punished outside their school.

The girls are lined up in a row and have been made to adopt a "push-up" position while a man goes along the line, whacking each girl on her bottom several times with a stick.

According to one source, 40 high-school girls were thus punished altogether, for not taking part in Teacher's Day.

We know from other pictures that this "push-up" posture was the norm in Korean schools, both as a punishment in its own right holding the position for a length of time and as a stance for the receipt of posterial chastisement.

The implement being used is much too thick and heavy and rigid to be described as a cane in the British sense. It also appears not to be in conformity with the Education Ministry's rules for CP as set forth in this June news item.

I would describe what we see here as almost "clubbing" rather than caning. The stick appears to be wielded with some force and without very much care; indeed, in Western cultural terms this treatment might be thought to be verging on the brutal.

For that matter, nor would it be regarded as acceptable -- and especially not for girls -- in some other Asian countries, such as Malaysia or Singapore, where the moderate, properly regulated, formal, non-violent caning of schoolboys is routine and officially supported.

However, the evidence is that in Korean culture this sort of thing was, at the time, fairly normal and regarded by many as a reasonable or even necessary way of dealing with misbehaving youngsters of both sexes.

In fact it may be that in Korean terms this is fairly mild stuff, because there are also reports and there is at least one unpleasant video clip on YouTube of students being violently punched and thumped on the spur of the moment by angry teachers -- which of course is not corporal punishment at all, but mere indefensible brutality.

This news item from SBS TV in March reports on severe caning in a girls' boarding school in Busan, with a group of teenagers partly lifting up their skirts to show the results.

The punishment appears by Western standards to have been way over the top. There are background scenes of the school including the dormitory, and a brief shot of a student's bruised buttocks receiving medical treatment.

The reporter claims that some of the girls were bleeding. The punishment also included being made to run across the playground 50 times. Other more generalised mistreatment was also alleged at this school.

As the clip ends, the TV reporter is seen in a contretemps with an official of the school. In this second video clip from , a female student gets mildly caned in the corridor for being late to school.

Flirting can be as simple as these three steps: Turn your whole body to face her, smile, and hold eye contact while she speaks.

Drop an occasional small compliment her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool. If she's responding well, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear.

Ask her out. Don't be afraid to strike while the iron is hot. If she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested.

And frankly, if it turns out she's straight, you'd rather find out sooner than later. If you get her number, call her again after a day or two and arrange your first date.

Part 3 of Be yourself. The idea of dating someone is to find out if the two of you are right for each other. Pretending to be something you're not hinders this process and will likely lead to problems later on.

If this is your first time dating a woman, or if you're unsure of your sexuality, say so. If you're in the closet with your family, coworkers, or friends, talk about that once it's clear this relationship could go somewhere.

Not everyone is willing to be your experiment, or to be introduced as "just a friend" to your parents. Rough as it is to close the door on a relationship, it will only get more painful if you delay the conversation.

Equally, if you've been out for years and your date is more private about her identity, talk to her about it. Learn each other's comfort zones early on.

Get to know each other. Talk about your interests, and ask about hers. The first few dates are about forming a connection.

Ask her follow-up questions "How often do you go there? If she seems reluctant to talk, switch to a light-hearted topic to make her comfortable.

Avoid getting too personal. Save that for later, when a more lasting commitment is on the table. Never talk about your past relationships on a date.

It can be hard to avoid mentioning a name if you've been dating a while in a close-knit lesbian community, but that doesn't mean your date needs to hear about your sex life or emotional bond with another person.

Talk about your expectations. Honest communication is the most important part of any relationship. This is even more vital if one or both of you are fairly new to same-sex dating or dating in general , and may have unclear expectations for social situations.

Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles.

Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians. If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt.

Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new. Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship.

There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend? Give her some time to process her emotions; it's not healthy to jump immediately from one relationship to another.

Be there for her, provide support and comfort, and when she's ready to date again, let her know that you're interested. Not Helpful 14 Helpful Yes, absolutely.

Many people start to get crushes and have romantic or sexual feelings at your age, or even a little younger.

You can absolutely know you're gay when you're 11, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not Helpful 29 Helpful I like my bisexual friend, and she knows that I'm lesbian.

Should I tell her how I feel and see how she reacts to see if she feels the same? You should tell her. She probably feels the same way, you never know what she's thinking.

Not Helpful 18 Helpful My girlfriend broke up with me. I got asked out the day after by a really cute girl, but I declined. It's been a month now and I really want to go out with her now that I'm ready.

How can I ask her out? Things are always so awkward around us now. You can explain to her why you declined her and ask if she's still interested.

Just say, "Hey, I know I said no to you when you asked me out a while back because I had just broken up with my girlfriend and wasn't really ready to go out with someone new.

But if you're still interested, I'd like to go out with you. Not Helpful 26 Helpful I am a boy and attracted to a girl. She says that she is a lesbian.

She doesn't look like one, and I want to have a relationship with her. What kind of approach must I use? You don't have to 'look like' a lesbian to be one.

Not all lesbians look a certain way, just as straight people can look all kinds of ways. If she says she is a lesbian, you have to respect that.

You can't change someone's sexuality, and you can't force yourself on someone, regardless of their sexuality. Not Helpful 77 Helpful Try rubbing her shoulder, holding her hand, or playing with her hair.

If she smiles, smile back at her and tell her how pretty or hot she looks. Then move in for a kiss. Small gestures can be very romantic.

Not Helpful 20 Helpful Why does my friend, a girl, always hold onto my arm and rest her head on my shoulder?

Some girls are just affectionate with their friends like that. So it could mean nothing, or it could mean she has feelings for you. It's hard to tell just from this information.

If you're interested in her romantically, you should ask her. Not Helpful 27 Helpful At what age do I start having sexual feelings?

I am 12, which seems young, but I often stare at girls more. Am I a lesbian? You can start questioning at any age.

You are not necessarily lesbian, you could be bisexual if you like boys as well, or you could just be curious. There's no rush to figure these things out, it will likely become more clear in time.

Not Helpful 12 Helpful You could tell them that, honestly, they're nice and you value their friendship, if applicable , but you're just not interested in that kind of relationship with them.

If they're persistent, be firm -- once you've told them no, you shouldn't have to continue to invest yourself in shielding them from reality.

If you want to be her friend, just treat her kindly and with respect. If you mean romantically, you can't. She will never be interested.

Just find someone else. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. If you have a friend you think might be into you, ask for advice from mutual friends or from online LGBT forums such as After Ellen.

It can be hard to tell friendliness and romantic interest apart, especially if you're crushing on her or if you're not sure of her sexuality.

Someone less involved in the situation can help you make a smart decision, and evaluate what it could do to the friendship.

Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0. A popular joke in lesbian communities not always a kind one references the "U Haul lesbian" that moves in with her girlfriend on the second date.

Nowadays, the joke can fall flat: if you live in an LGBT-friendly area, there are enough places to meet and date that people take a more casual approach.

Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0. Be careful when dating online. There are people that can badly hurt you out there. But there are also people that are good.

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Related wikiHows. Recipe Ratings and Stories x. Co-authors: Updated: June 4, Article Summary X To get a lesbian girlfriend, try going to LGBT social events or venues in your area, like nightclubs, parades, or hangouts, which are great ways to meet other lesbians.

Italiano: Avere una Fidanzata Lesbica.