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According to Dr. Even though your partner can't see you, you should still create an arousing sexual atmosphere for yourself.

You want to be as present as possible during the conversation. There are prostate massagers , masturbation sleeves , cock rings of all varieties, butt plugs and more.

This adds a little bit of visual stimulation to the auditory. Sometimes, fantasies are better left as fantasies.

Besides, the anticipation is often the best part! Then you can move into what it is you want your partner to do. This isn't the library, make some noise.

Besides, encouragement is sexy. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Try Free Chat Line. Talk to singles in North America.

There are singles on the Quest chatline. Call now! Click to select city. Listen to greetings from real singles. Chat Line Guide Step 1: Call 1.

Step 3: Record a Greeting Your free voice ad is your opportunity to introduce yourself to other callers on the chat line. All you have to do is checkout with a credit card.

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Call now! Click to select city. Listen to greetings from real singles. Chat Line Guide Step 1: Call 1. Step 3: Record a Greeting Your free voice ad is your opportunity to introduce yourself to other callers on the chat line.

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Women on the Quest chatline Right Now! New York. Part 1 of Set up a phone date. While it's true that, as with any other kind of sex, phone sex can "just happen", the session is more likely to go well if you've planned ahead, especially if it's your first time doing it together.

Pick a time when you're both alone and free to let your inhibitions loose. If your partner is new to phone sex or feeling unsure, consider sending them this article, or reading it together.

Don't forget that you can always discuss what you'd like to do during phone sex before you start. Let loose and get in the mood. It will be difficult for you to enjoy yourself if you feel tense or silly, so before you call, do whatever you need to do to get yourself comfortable and feeling sexy.

Let loose: Lie in bed for a while, browse the internet, have a glass of wine, jog on the spot, do a silly song and dance in front of the mirror -- anything that will allow you to release the tension from your body.

Get in the mood: Setting up a sexy atmosphere can help put you in the right frame of mind, so consider doing whatever you'd do to prepare for any other kind of sex.

Here are some ideas: Tidy up your room and make the bed Dim the lights, perhaps set up some candles Play soft music Have a bath or shower and a shave, if you like Think of a role play to spice up the call you two skinny dipping, etc.

Put on or take off! Part 2 of Begin the call. Once you have your partner on the phone, take things at a speed you're both comfortable with. There's no "correct" way to have phone sex.

If it helps you relax, spend a few minutes chatting before you get started A low, soft tone of voice or heavy breathing can help set the mood, but don't force it if doing so is unnatural for you: speaking and breathing comfortably in your normal tone of voice will be sexier than an awkwardly forced attempt at sounding sexy.

Introduce a casual topic that will segue nicely into sexy talk. Getting started is possibly the hardest part, especially if it's your first time!

Pick a topic that's easy for you to bring up, but which has the potential to spiral into steamier territory. Examples: How much you miss them, or wish they were with you What you would like to do if they were with you What you're wearing and how you look in it What you're doing How you're feeling Ask your partner to describe any of the above to you.

Escalate into sexy talk. Once you have the ball rolling and you're feeling comfortable, try getting bolder with your descriptions, or bring up new, sexier topics.

A good approach is to describe or ask your partner to describe, the following three things: What you're doing : Describe how you look and the way you're touching yourself.

Be as coy or as raunchy as you like! Ask for "advice" -- for example, "should I start playing with my underwear?

Don't feel bad if you're not comfortable with touching yourself -- you can still let them know that you're enjoying simply listening to them.

What you're imagining : This could be, for example, what you'd like to be doing with your partner, a moment from great sex the two of you have had in the past, or a mental image of what they're describing to you.

You might want to start out slow: begin with tame descriptions like "first, I'd stroke your hair" or "I really like the way your chest looks in a T-shirt", before moving on to steamier things like "then I'd kiss your neck" or "remember when you did that thing to me in the shower?

Moaning is a great way to communicate how good you're feeling. However, there's no need to do this if you're not comfortable with it.

You can start with just letting your breath go at first, to help bring out little moans into louder moans. Let them know when they've described or done something you really enjoyed.

Likewise, don't be afraid to tell them when you don't enjoy something -- it'll allow the two of you to move on to something else that you'll both find enjoyable.

Masturbate and orgasm optional. Mutual masturbation and orgasm are excellent additions to phone sex, but they're not a requirement by any means.

Don't feel bad if your partner doesn't join you in masturbating. If you don't want to masturbate alone, ask them before you start if they'd be interested in joining you.

Likewise, don't get anxious if they start masturbating and you don't want to -- you're not obligated to join them.

Just enjoy listening to them pleasure themselves. Don't worry if one or both of you fail to reach orgasm.

Think of it as the icing on the cake, rather than the goal of the exercise. I had meaningless sex, and as a woman , I think it gives you very little pleasure compared to having sex with someone you have feelings for.

I think putting a number on the dates-to-sex ratio can be stifling. We could all benefit from trusting our instincts and ourselves a little more.

I don't judge someone for getting their freak on, and I wouldn't date a man long if he judged me for my healthy sexual appetite and attitude.

And weird. I had an experience where I had been dating a guy for a few months before the first time, then we did it and it was bad.

Easily the worst sex of my life. If we had done it earlier, I would have saved myself some time and energy. I think in , if you're on a date and there's chemistry and you're both consenting adults, have at it.

Sex is fun. If I like the person, why not enjoy everything I can? There's no "right" or "wrong" thing to do -- sex on the first date is really a different-strokes-for-different-folks kind of thing.

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